Wind Beneath My Wings

A mysterious presence, he acts in vicarious ways
A mesmerizing performer, with a chorus of rustling trees
A charming enchanter, he captivates with fragrances divine
Notorious for his flirtatious ways, of whistles and mischief with frilly dresses
A whimsical child, he sways which way he fancies
But brazen sometimes, wreaks havoc as an unruly tornado
A homeless fugitive, always on the run without any chasers
A borderless traveler, unblinded by the divisive human lines
A tireless crusader, on indefatigable conquests with the peaks
A shrewd investor in futures - pollens far and wide
An emissary of peace, rescues the scorched earth with rains' respite
A noble heart - safely betroths the sea bride to the alter with the land
An inspiring patriarch, instills patriotism with the waving flag
An iconoclast, his free spirit has no bounds
An insightful sage - he has taught me the biggest lesson to succeed
Enjoy the journey, dont let the destination precede
An invisible guardian - he is the wind beneath my wings

Spring

Come ye, people of designs and sketches
Nature wants to adorn outfits of colorful hues
Like a spinster about to walk the aisle
Portray her aspirations in pastel styles
Craft her different emotions with your vast palette
A magnum opus of a fashionista divine

Come ye, people of threads and needles
Sow back the parched leaves to their graceful glory
Weave an intricate tapestry to enliven their veins
Embroider the greens with swatches of freshness
A promise which is known to be broken,
So comforting yet so ephemeral

Come ye, people of makeups and touchups
Embellish her cheeks with strokes of pink
Highlight her subtle blushes with rosy clues
Reveal the innocence of her secret romance
Paint the radiance of true love with your brush
The glow that outshines her jewels of gold

Come ye, people of drums and trumpets
Mix the harmony with frolic and felicity
Buzz your way merrily in the procession
Sing the songs of prosperity and joy
Play the music of reverence and bliss
With new hopes befitting her wistful eyes

Come ye, come all, people like you and me
Bastion of the dark and dreary has Fallen at last!
Conjoin and compliment in this procession of rejoice
Enjoy the bloom of good deeds from your seeds
Blossoms of hope burgeoning everywhere
Cheers to Spring – the Renaissance of a new life

Autumn Beginnings

They call it the season of 'Fall',
But Autumn hums songs of its own,
Falling leaves rustle in their final goodbye,
So colorful, they rest without a sigh.
But see the glory before it all ends...

Graceful Yellows, romantic Oranges, fiery Reds,
Golds, Scarlets, Purples, Crimsons, Vermilions, oh hues so more.
Mother nature adorning the greens in the mood for some makeup!
Getting ready for the last dance of the season
Before she dawns drapes of solemn whites
Bewildered I ask, what's on her mind?

She smiles with wistful eyes,
'See the Wind and the Leaf,
Cherishing moments of their Ephemeral life,
Spinning, Swaying, Singing in Romance,
Embracing the last Waltz, not missing the chance,
Carefree of their descent, without any fright.
Bonding more than ever, with every glance,
Rustling sweet nothings, not goodbyes, in their final flight'

Silver Lining

They said it would sparkle one day
Even behind the darkest of cloud
Never imagined it would pierce me with a ray
A breathtaking sight, soundless yet so loud
Out of luck in a pitch black sky
The fair weather companions not twinkling, oh why?
Alone she walked on the canvas dark
A lone ranger hoping to make her mark

Burdens of vapor on her shoulder
Adding by the days as the sun would smolder
Braving the winds, the storms and the tornadoes
She marched ahead impaired and torn
But somewhere inside was a voice of hope
Trudge along as long as you can cope

Sometimes she stood tired and still
So worn out and run-down she just couldnt feel
At times the heavens would send a cheerful lark
To fill up her spirits, out from the dark
Then sometimes a lake would reflect and gleam
So radiant with the energy she would seem
And even in the lowest of her times
A distant rainbow showed seven ways to smile

For her silver lining she often did pine
Her race was never over, there was no finish line
Then one day the moon smiled and gave her a sign
She grasped the message, since then has been fine

Look up to your failures, coz they are your teachers
They give you a vision untold by the preachers
The journey not the destination, maketh us all
Learn a new way to rise, each time you fall

Quest

Burdened by the loads of the "why me?" quest,
My journey began without the rest
First marched the Spring - the begetter of the new
With even all its prima vera,
Had the fragrance for but a chosen few
Then I gazed at buildings tall,
All in pride but it takes just a quiver to fall
Upwards I looked at the stars new and old
Giants of the heavens or mere dots untold?
Searching for my answer in the dark
Confounded I groped into the night
Then I noticed a candles plight
Light to the world, but darkness beneath
The melting wax like drops of my own
Then I learnt the secret unknown
Life is but to fill the lacks we feel
Heat and cold makes steel anneal
Positivity is the only way to heal

The one

When I feel alone amongst the crowd,
You are the heart that is one with me,
When my spirits tumbling in valleys deep
You are the hand which rescues me.
When the ghosts of the night snatch my sleep,
You are the voice which comforts me.
When the present doesn’t seem like a gift,
You are the eyes that help me see beyond,
When burdens of the day unnerve me,
You are the foot that keeps me moving,
When thoughts wage a war within,
You are the poem that brings me peace.

Unspoken words

The melody you heard, I tried to muffle;
For my heart sings for the one beyond the oceans,
The one I see in the stars, even in broad daylight.
The words you heard, stumbled through my sinful voice;
A sound which touched your heart so pure,
Wove those beautiful dreams you had,
And shattered them, that evening untold;
Your feelings so precious, like a pearl in the oyster,
You turned your hurt inward,
The bond we had broke away,
Like a parched leaf in the merciless autumn.
But the wave never meant to hit the rock,
Nor did the rock want to brave the sea,
They just happened to be there, with and against each other,
Never to meet in peace again.

Evening sky

The painter had a perfect sketch
So beautiful with impeccable strokes
Mischievous clouds resting in their mother's lap
With red cheeks all tanned in delight
After a day full of frolic out in the sun
With hues of red and saffron,
The Heaven looked so caring and divine
As she dawned the look of a matriarch
And just when I held my breath
At this sight of innocence and simplicity
She shed a sparkling tear,
A shinning meteor in the sky,
Wistfully pray to the evening star
I smiled at him for the gift to see
For eyes seldom see what a blind mind can
You can find love everywhere you go
If you're just willing to open your eyes

Sunshine

I wish I found my sunshine
He's hiding behind the gray sky
As if a grumpy child he hides
At a place so distant so far by

Though gloom pervades, all in its might
A jot of hope that resides in my heart
Sparkles away independently in defense
Like a challenge from a firefly
To the devil of the dark

Prayers and patience will never succumb
They will keep the candle bright
All molten wax may surrender supine
But optimism will always hold me high

I ll dream of the sunny days
See your reflection in the ocean wide
I ll transcend to a higher high

And sometimes when I hit the lows
I ll call ur name and shed a tear
Until you come out of your hideaway
I ll imagine your gleaming smile
In the reflections of my mind

Mend

How do you mend the leaves in Fall
Spring will cast its spell

How do you quench a dried up lake
Only rains can spout it away

How do you patch the withered petals
Soon blossoms will start to sway

How do you sow the plumes that shed
New season will darn it to place

How do you mend a broken heart
You say that life's just this way

:)

A Prayer

Make me honest,

So I can look at my honest reflection

With a candor clear in the murky pond

Make me ambitious,

So that I can soar through the blues

Even when earthly chains fetter

Make me insightful,

So I see the candle dispel darkness

As also its own shadow beneath

Make me thoughtful,

To give without a miserly hand

As nature burgeons happiness in spring

Make me forgiving,

So I measure others’ folly as my own

As miscible as a drop in the ocean

Make me courageous,

So I bloom in the chills of fate

Like a chrysanthemum make me brave

Make me humble,

So I thank you in my greatness

Like gratitude laden boughs of trees

Make me content,

So I can be at peace with myself

Like the dew before the sun wakes

Untitled

You were always steadfast as the rock,

Loyal in your commitment

I always willful as the stormy sea,

Wavering in indecision,

Of my allegiance to you,

Swayed by the winds of circumstances,

Or may be just excuses

To façade my own obdurate stances

All I gave you were tides of emotions,

Some high, many low,

When all you deserved

Was the soothing sea-breeze,

Gentle hugs and kisses

Like when the calm waters

Meet the sea-rock.

You were always there,

Patiently waiting with arms open

But even when I wanted to

Embrace you my love,

All I ended up doing was

Lash against you with a surge…

The Enlightened one

The mind is the soil.. the thoughts are the seeds...deeds are how you nuture them...and the harvest is Nirvana :-)

-Gautam Buddha

Moonlight and solitude

Like the twinkle in a child's eye,
Some mischief, some innocence,
He peeks at me with a warm smile,
Makes an entrance, that leaves me entranced,
Gently he rises, from the mountains high,
With a brilliance that lights up the sky,
With a valor that fights the clouds dark,
Yet with a humility that wins hearts,
He is the sweetheart of the heavens,
I am just a twinkle in a cluster,
Many of my kind swoon at his charms,
So many jewels in the sky,
Vying to steal his heart,
Oh he is so chivalrous and suave!
With a dark side, unseen, unbelieved,
A best kept secret by the mystery man,
He isnt all perfect, the blemishes reside,
Yet the aura he creates,
Blinds me in his love,
Love-fooled, I only see my 'dear',
Ah, one day he will be mine...
Serendipity listens to my fond whispers,
The heavens smile at my shy glances,
Reflections of my affection so vivid,
The clear waters, sparkling in the night,
Reveal my deepest desires,
Bashful, I shimmer with a blush...
But I am destiny's child,
Eons seem to pass,
In solitude and moonlight madness,
His companion in all his phases,
So near yet so far...
A celestial event, our rendezvous,
All thanks to the match-makers in the sky,
So close to my darling for the moonlit dance,
In that magical moment,
I willingly fade out in his luminance,
Kindles a wish in my covetous heart,
Can I have this moment forever...
But I need a heavenly conspiracy for this one,
Adeiu my honey, I ll treasure the sweet memory,
A night to remember, for one lifetime...

Back from the Dead

Aah the D word...it incites grief, fear,satisfaction,mania, disgust,curiosity,humor...Before I venture further to express my opinions about this, my sincere apologies to anyone who thinks this is solecism...

My analysis starts from what is death- the state of lack of life...what is life...hmmmmm???!!! now very few people like the question , need I say about the answer... as one of my friends once advised me- its not worth analysing, just live it... yeh its a fair enough way of looking at it, but hey spare it a thought...:-)

The rise of the phoenix from its ashes has always been the quintessential example of 'back from the dead'. Accepted, its a quite inspirational thought..getting over setbacks in life, picking up the pieces and moving on and not only moving on baby, conquering the world in the process... hallelujah!!!

Spiritualism has always inspired human inquiry into this... every religion has its own unique way of looking at it..infact most of religious philosophy has been based on guiding principles to lead a good 'life' so that one can reap the benefits of it in the afterlife... then there are theories about reincarnation and the repercussions of our actions in this life on other lives...The way I look at it- hey atleast something gives human beings a reason to be good not only to themselves but also to others, cheers to it all!!!

And sometimes we do see miracles happening.. almost in a sci-fi flick kinda way... patients rising from commas to play chess when a struck with a surge of electricity.. Well the way I look at it, we are used to seeing zinc carbon batteries become 'alive' after being 'dead' for sometimes arent we... the reason behind this 'miracle' is that the reaction products(hydrogen gas in the case of the battery need some time to dissipate)... hmmm may be we too need some time to 'dissipate' things to recharge at times ;-P or for the sake of evangelists- may be miracles do happen!!!


Well moving away from the literal 'back from the dead' .... is life only about physical existence, does the mere presence of vital signs assure that one is alive?... vegetables are alive... how much we as humans deem the 'quality of life' important is a question having several dimensions - ethical(the whole debate about euthanasia) , economical (economists toy with the term 'standard of living') , social( thats what forms our 'culture') etc... A look at how we as a society treat those who deserve a 'second chance'. Its easy to dismiss a criminals unpardonable, but we must also give a thought to words like 'redemption' and 'rehabilitation'...more often than not we cant get rid of the stigma that we attach to criminals, addicts and mental patients- and refuse them the second chance merely on the bais that we have against them!!! But then ... As George Orwell says in his book "Animal Farm" - 'All animals are equal, but some are more equal' ;-)

Being a computer engineer, I cant not juxtapose the 'back from the dead' phenomenon in my pasture...We are all too familiar about 'data recovery'.... a hard disc failure - is just so much like a heart failure (sometimes the cause of it too) ... the specifics are different- you have a disc rotating at around 15000rpm, some actuators, controlling logic, arms... its easy to see the parallel...We even have parallel word for the average life span here - its called 'mean time to failure'... And the same questions surface here too- how do u weigh the cost of recovery against the utilityof the data.... all that, or may be I am too perceptive for my bread and butter!!

Well the term 'back from dead' assumes careful scrutiny when it comes to world politics... One cant help but wonder how many times the innocent civilians of Iraq, Afghanistan, Seirra Leonne die every moment... but they are the true survivors and epitomise the spirit of being 'back from the dead' with every breath they breathe...This reminds me of a statement by an Iraqi girl, I saw on CNN , when asked if she found it in her to find happiness amidst destruction, this was what she said,"Yes, I can find happiness within me, because unlike people in other parts of the world, I dont assume that suffering is not meant to be a part of life" ... Its aaha moments like these that should hit as brick-bats to those of us who dont cherish their better circumstances...

Ending on a humorous note.... well this has not been substantiated but its a popular urban legend in the category of business blunders ... Pepsi in its intial days was considered to be the kitchen drink- something thrifty housewives would use to fool their guests as 'coke' which was the popular 'living room' drink then.. this was due to a wrong marketing strategy by pepsi co which adopted the 'nickel' campaign ...so Pepsi was perceived to be the 'cheap' drink..Later, Pepsi tried to market it as a social drink with its 'Be sociable' campaign but they used prim and perfect brabd ambassadors which were viewed as boring by the public, during this process Pepsi completely overlooked the Rock and roll rage that was spreading its wings at that time...Realising this, Pepsi launched its 'Come Alive! its the Pepsi Generation!!" campaign, which presented a sort of social acceptance in the 'in' clique even to those who werent used to it in real life...and hey all that at a price of a cold drink, who wouldnt buy it!!! When Pepsi marketed this slogan in China, their sales dropped.. the reason being that the Chinese thought of it as a drink which would bring back their dead ancestors to life!!!!Hmm so much for coming alive eeih?:-P

Sane and silent

The best thing about sanity is that you cant define it... While there are few of us who pride ourselves with being 'crazy' almost in a fashion-statement kinda way, some others who consider it as expression of their freedom ( the sense of being 'alive') ,some others who are on a mission to prove that they are more than 'just sane', and some others who just seek refuge in their craziness, there are soo many others for whom craziness is a way of life and not a matter of choice... The beauty is nobody is right and nobody is wrong...

You get to choose your clothes from the wardrobe, circumstances are just the ocassion for which you are going to dress up:-P

CrossRoads

Have you ever had the feeling, when you are waiting at some crossroad, all alone admist the throng... when you just take a moment off the humdrum and trappings of daily life, and look around, above, sideways..just everywhere and simply wonder where are you heading...? When everthing around you and everyone around you just seem to be at a standstill...all sounds go mute...the scene reminiscent of music videos... where the singer is the only one who is on the move...Well guess what you dont even have to be on the road, in the middle of a rush-hour traffic to feel that way...

Life has brought me at interesting crossroads... several ways, each one promising plenty of opportunities, the best of everything...All I have to do is simply CHOOSE. We spend our entire life (well atleast 21 years..speaking for myself) dreaming what we want to be, who we want to be with , what we want to give to others and what we expect from them (does everyone do this or is it just the selfish me... I dont know...) and when one day when you have it all, or atleast you have the realistic kinda confidence that you can have it all (clairvoyance bolstered by intelligent thought and actions... ) , it is simply out of this world experience... If I were to put it in a sentence...closing my eyes and taking a moment to get the words right for this one..." There is soo much to win and soo much to lose.....But those who never play will never win..." I have echoed these words soo many times, somehow they make infinite sense to me ... probably because the most important person in my life said these once to me, when I was my usual self-doubting, undermotivated self.. I still am...but I now have equipped myself to get over it, writing is just one of them..

Another nice 'tool' I fumbled on along the way was music... I have no clue about the technicalities and fine nuances of the art, nor am I much of a connoisseur..but I have a open mind and perhaps more open ears... Music for me is when we try to notice some kind of rhythm in the cacophony that pervades us. The more you try to keenly find it the more you will be surprised of its omnipresence... in the waves of the sea, in the rustling leaves, in the metaalic shrills of the wind chime, in the pitter-patter of the rain-drops, in the chipakk-pacchak(or wateva sound u wanna call it) of the gum-boots we used to wear to school in the monsoons, in the chirps of the birds(yes even the crows can sing...)and yea in the croaks of the frogs;-P... Music is just everywhere...(thats y we have to tolerate Himeesshhhh..)

My connection with music dates back to very recent times, thanks to all the new friends I got to know in the past few months (who patiently explained the basics of all the music genres, gave me live performances online, tried to enlighten a menatally challenged person like me about the beauty of metal(I always paid more attention to nonmetals and metalloids in chem classes, but I guess this made up for it ;-D) and yea patiently listened and even managed to appreciate my sloooooooooooooow and discordant songs....and also motivated me to sing Hotel California but to no avail hehehhe) Bottomline, lets just say that music gave me much more to hold on to than just the right lyrics and the right tune...

So standing at the crossroad feels like standing on your toes while performing the ballet or doing the triple-toe in ice-skating...the process is excruciatingly difficult and requires a lot of skill, at the same time the product is soo graceful that the whole thing has a streak of facile ease...

Here I am, with the best of circumstances and people with me, it kinda feels like the winning runner..tieing the shoe lace, warming up, getting ready for the run of life, eyeing the finishing line..meanwhile the whole stadium is full is of people cheering for you... and you know you can get this right...if only you dont go off ur track in all the excitement... :-D

The Great One

Well brushing aside the worldly things that confine me in a very constricted time-line, I manage to ,for once not be self-indulgent and spare a thought for the great guy who gave me a holiday today... Not the prime minister, not my principle.. its some one they call 'THE MAHATMA'. The same person who has christened an infinite stream of roads in India, the smiling face on the currency, the face that adorns all government institutions, the guy who turned the other cheek, the one we read about in history textbooks, and yea... the one in MunnaBhai, the one in Richard Attenbrough's film too- some call him Bappuji, some Gandhi....but Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore sums it up beat with the term- "Mahatma" - the great being! Oops I almost forgot (no I didnt)he was the guy who gave us freedom, the nonviolent way.. the one who inspired some of the finest human beings in th annals of history- Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein and many others...

It has almost become platitudinous to say this... (kinda sad considering the fact that we are soo accustomed to being arrogant, aggresive, non-tolerant ...almost militant in our daily lives that we find some of his teachings absolutely out-of-place in our current context) .. still a perspicacious thought to the application of his teachings in status-quo will revel that the man had a point... to say the least.

Well all Indians have been taught throughout their lives that He was great... the satyagraha, the charkha, the South African nonviolent victory, the Dandi March, civil Disobedience Movement, the Do or Die ...the freedom glory, the tragic partition and the even more tragic death of the saint.... Yes he did all that, a simple Gujarati boy changed the way the world thinks forever...

I happened to read a few of his books during my school days(one of the rare books I can claim to have read.. coz I m not a reader). " The story of my experiments with Truth" and "India Of my Dreams" were really inspirational for me at that impressionable age. But I guess I didnt get the essence then( and I think I belong to a large group of people who havent)... And if I may be so audaciously bold to claim that I finally get it, I think his life was all about showing people that truth is supreme, you cant fight it! And it is truth and only truth that can give u the peace -both outside and within...

But then define truth... Mathematics has the concept of 'axioms'- the truths one has to accept and which form the basis of all knowledge. Spiritualism has the concept of 'the conscience'...the way I look at it, its the voice within you which pricks you when you are diverting away from the truth. And in politics truth is something that cant be manipulated to be proved to be false (cutting the crap, truth is fiction there).I think history says truth is the version of the story the victors get to boast of ( think about it...)Truth by definition cant be subjective...is it really? Doesnt the human mind induce its bias inherently in presenting, analysing and accepting the truth? So what did the man say again? I m clueless!!!!

And why should one believe that truth is good...Are humans even capable of being truthful- forget about being truthful to others..even to themselves? We all love our makeups, masks and interfaces dont we? And dont you see a corrupt guy sashaying with all the comforts and luxuries, when he blatantly shuns all truth, good et all...And have we seen heaven or hell to remind ourselves of dire consequences in afterlife? I m sure such questions have been asked and deliberated upon throughout the centuries... But the very fact that Truth is still very much a human virtue goes to say that "Uus aadmi key baaton mein kuch dum hai"!

Well, I think the trick realises in realises in realising that in the long run.. it is much easier to be truthful than to lie... or rather not be truthful (there is a fine difference between the two). Truth does give you peace, you can feel it, atleast I did. It gives you the courage to stand up for what you are convinced is correct ( thats the kinda magic that empowered a poor nation to fight against the mighty oppressors and infact win in the end) It gives the ordinary man the strength to win the world without any superpowers for the rescue. All the conflicts and confusions in the world around us and within us can be won with this immortal woord- 'Satyagraha'...(which means satya-truth.. agraha-convincing)

Picture perfect

This is not a funny passage,lolzzz, pure psychobabble, if u hate that stuff, please move on to something else...

well b4 reading ..a small exercise..what are the images that come to ur mind wen u hear the word..picture perfect...For me- it was a phantasmagoria of images- here it goes:
Princess Diana, 'The Glow of Hope' by Raja Ravi Verma,'The invitation to the feast' by Renoir, Aishwariya Rai, Maria Sharapova, The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. cast, Karan Johar movies, Lance Armstrong wining the Tour De France, pictures of deep space from Hubble, Diamond ring on a annular solar eclipse, Indira Gandhi, JFK, the sunset, the moonrise, the pic of a pride of lions in the Serangetti, Kangaroos hopping in Australian grasslands;-P, Goan shores, the lush green cloud covered Sahyadri mountains in monsoons, the orchids in Sikkim, the pink babies with 'slits' and chubbu cheeks I saw in Nepal, pics when I got prizes, my family vacation pics, the VJTI ppl pics, my chotu baby pics..etc (in random order) Now u can read on............

A picture speaks a thousand words, they say. So when I was asking a friend, (who btw analyses people in his spare time for fun and is really good at it, muuuah)what I should write in my SOP, fatttak( Hindi for 'at a lightening speed') sey reply aata hai- just put ur pic, it says it all..lolzz. Well that nonchalant remark, superficially could pass on for a very good joke, but since I have a habit of thinking tooooo much about everything, I couldnt help but ponder at the various dimensions of that sentence...( I 've trying to figure out how my mind works...is it a depth first search or a breadth first search...a complicated combination I bet!) Backtracking to the topic... all my life I have wondered at how much of an importance we humans give to the way we project ourselves. "It isnt about the looks", many people like me say...but is it really so? Every passing moment while walking through the streets, while shopping, or even just driving ...we instinctively judge people by what they 'appear' to be. Atleast I do that, though it is not a firm , rigid point of view, even-so cant deny that first impressions matter...

But interestingly, most people who belong to the category of the 'self-appointed jury' have a strong aversion to being judged. More often, I ve observed that it's not about what the other person thinks about us, rather what is objectionable is the thought that people will see what we consciously want to hide (I m pretty good at it, have succeeded in convincing a lot of people that I m a crazy, deranged person huhhahahha). Attach a frill of romanticism to it, and u can say that we all love to be mysterious, it is kinda like a gift wrapped in a nice package, all so perfect with a silken ribbon and a well-written card...the packaging certainly adds to the excitement doesnt it?lolzz

Furthermore, I have always wondered what is wrong in expecting people and things and life in general to be picture perfect... I wondered about when I painted- later I realised I was not so wrong in wondering that ccoz there are two major movements realism(the paintings you see in every church in Rome and Vatican and those which walk u down the Biblical lane when u have an out of body experience marvelling at the walls of the Sistine Chappel) and impressionism ( Avant Garde, Picasso's cubism and all that jazz)( Clarification , I didnt mention these things to exhibit the realms of my knowledge in fine arts...its just a culmination of my experiences). (So much for digression!!! And why do I need to explain myself everytime..well that can be a topic for the next post, hehehhehee). I wondered about it as a kid when I used to love the story books with beautiful pictures of fairies and elves and utopian distant lands, and used to not enjoy reading the same story from the not soo colorful books... And I wondered about it evertime I looked into the mirror and fretted over my curly hair, chubby cheeks and ...la la la. Wondered evertime I saw my pics... there was( correction is) always soooo much more of me in all that I do ;-) ( let me echo ur sentiments... I m too 'full' of myself lolzzzz). Wondered with every scrap i got saying 'nice pic'. Bottomline- A thing of beauty is a joy forever!

So splurge on way you look honey, a fake glimmer can pass on for a diamond, a yellow shimmer can be thought of as gold, it's worth the chutzpah for the large majority of people who arent exactly in the 'gems' category. ( I know I have raised many an eyebrow..(lolzz is that even correct English) with the previous statement, but if u happen to visit a saloon on a Sunday morning u will agree to what I say!!( Warning the sentence goes to speak way beyond that though, lolzzz)) So nod ur heads in the lectures even when u are basically sleeping( I prefer the headbutts hehhehehe but that doesnt create a good impression (context-sensitive grammar hai yeh ;-P)). Write neatly with gel pens, draw beautiful diagrams - cause rightly soo presentation matters!

But if u are screaming typecast error for the earlier para, here is some exception handling code for u....Dare to be happy with urself, completely with all ur strengths and weakness, dont be afraid to show them, who knows u may find good people who can actually make u get over ur deficiencies...and that my friend is what I call- honesty. The only person we 'must' be honest to is ourselves...hai na? Also, complementary to this, we need to have a much more open mind when we go about evaluating people, even if subconsciously, coz everyone has something u can learn and imbibe so that u become a better person( spoken like a true selfish person...but it works lolzzz). Perhaps that can help u if u are suffering from the deficiency of Vitamin C( complacency).

Ok, after this really drab reading which I m sure had a very soporific effect and if you know me personally u must have uttered those words "Looks who is talking!!!!"...
See, can stop judging myself and others can I?lolzzz thats me- picture perfect!!!!!

High Spirits

Well things can get more weary than this, the people I used to revel in torturing are laughing at my paltry, dessicated sense of humor...I m reminded of the 'good old days' when I pretty much was a terror on Yahoo messenger and my buddies used to light candles at Mount Mary , praying for their safe recovery to sanity after 15 min chats with me online! People in VJTI used to run agog , at the site of the horrifying "Balonwali"( the gal with THE hair) as the people in the PratibiiimmBBB committee used to call me...the crazy gal who can kill you with her looong and boring yet unbearably humorous "kisseys" ( no connection with Kisses...aaahhh, ok back to the point). I was hte rason mental institutes boasted of a 'healthy' turnout...I had achieved what the government couldnt in the past 20 years that I have been watching news(yes I used to watch World this week with Pranoy Roy and the Parliament News and the dumb and mute news when I was a baby)
( just to clarify I m still a "chotu baby" for a lot of people...infact this is a unanimous misconception, but its ok, as long as I m pampered and I dont mean "Pamper"ed) !!!

Gist of para one:
I have lost my sense of humor and the sarcastic magic wand
(Boooooo to all the CAT aspirants who skimmed through the linguistic jugglery and fine literary nuances of the above para!!!)

Well what went wrong, u ask ( even if u dont ...u should for the sake of continuity...) Btw, the previous question has multiple dimensions and has profound effect on all aspects of my life...be it academic, social, professional, romantic ( how many dimensions does this thing have anyways..? well every possible thing u can think of!!!) And now since I m totally flabbergasted at the loss of 'the wonder days' lemme just summarise the activities that took me away from the reality I was soo proud of..lolzz

Well the worst thing that can ever happen to you is : ..tantaaadaaaaa u start "POEMING" as I call it..( still vain about the poetic liberties, kya karein....) Well it is a nightmare , I remeber I had written a beautiful poem half an hour before my OS paper, not coz I was soo well preped that I thought I could indulge in a literally magnum opus, on the contrary it was something I had to do...some what like how Jim CArey feels when he puts on the Mask... I even made those weird faces believe u me... finally the mind and fingers 'synchronised' (OS paper tha...lolzz) and la la la ...there was a chotu poem.....(it was good ppl.. read 'Utopia' below)

As if the poeming on nature wasnt enough.. I started making my friends as my poetic muses...Many a great men were flustered ( where is the yahoo smiley of the taklu pulling his hair in frustation , when u need one?) when they read about themselves, I bet I extolled them soo much that they developed narcissistic characteristics which transcended into a much more aggrevated form of a psychological disorder I call " Swollen Ego" the biological term is " Hippopotaumusiais" and the cool crowd would call it 'Attitude honey'...wateva, they can **** ** ***( dont we love our Automata thoery!! lolzz). Well the poeming spree led to may a great works as you can read, only the seriously emotional types mind you, dont u dare analyse me from these poems, I m like those Russians dolls, a person within a person recursively without a terminating condition...huhahaha.

Yea then there was a series of addictions to online interfaces.. I compiled my greivances about Orkut, to which I got a thumping support( hoping there is a word like thumping and further hoping it doesnt mean anything sexually explicit, for the sake of my chotu baby peers). This was followed by a wealth of mind blowing testimonials I wrote for close friends, people I didnt know but wanted to write anyways, people who wrote some for me and asked me to write one of them and people I couldnt satnd on the first encounter and wanted to get back at but ended up liking anyways( the above sentence needs tests ur reading between the lines..) And just for the record...Please DO NOT send me scraps which say : "please write me a testi" it is just too damn funny if u read it with a twisted mind!

Moving on, ohhhh then Jack jumped from the bean stalk and landed on a cactus plant ...I know ur grandma didnt tell u this version of the story, coz children are kept away from the gory details u see...Well I was on a self healing path (or so I think) so the poeming stopped (after a series of romantic sad poems to God knows who!!!!God wonders why too now-a-days:-()the orkut account was deleted (and a new one was created) A Big thank you to all the 141 pals who think my photo is very cute and I have lovely dimples( where were u ppl when I was 20 kgs heavier or was it the grains in ur eyes at that time...excuse muaaah:-*)

Oh yea, level three of Jack story... from the cactus to the Venus-fly-trap...( thats a n insectivorous plant -gyan...since many people think I m a pest, I belong to the phylum insecta ..I hope it is a phyllum then wat is a class...? Oh its those thingies in VJTI with a population on 75 and a bee or a drone or a frog producing abstruse sounds which are out of the 20 Hz -20 kHz range!!!) Speaking of humming..I wen tona singing spree, much to the dismay of my online pals again! Many a glass bottles were broken at the cacophony, there was a new cult formed and I was revered as the "Don of Discordance", the roaches in foreign universites were killed mercilessly when my songs were played in the libraries of my seniors, the engineering community lsot a lot of talented souls who went into an indefinite coma after listening to those slow poisonous songs...(damn I should have started with the people I love to hate..but then wats Piu if she she thinks logically!!!)

Life was never soo fun being obesessed with oneself and discovering talents I didnt know I had... All said and done, it was a waste of a lot of precious things but then ...what a waste it was.

Back to reality...Oh there goes gravity, oh there goes rabit...huhahahaha!!!! Bottomline I m back sweethearts!!!